December Jokes of the
Week |
Week 1
Correcting
the Sentence
A English professor wrote the sentence "Woman without her man is nothing" on the
blackboard and directed her students to correct it.
The guys wrote "Woman,
without her man, is nothing."
The girls wrote "Woman!
Without her, man is nothing!"
Week 2
Computer Billing
A guy got a credit card bill
stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away..
Next month he got another, did
the same thing. The next month they sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to
cancel his credit card if he didn't send them $0.00.
He called them, talked to them,
they said it was "a glitch" and told him they'd take care of it..
The following month he tried to
charge something and couldn't. He called the credit card company who again said they'd
take care of it..
The next day he got his bill
for $0.00 stating that he was very delinquent..
The man figured the credit card
company would take care of it, so he didn't worry. The next month he got a bill for $0.00
stating that he had 10 days to pay or his account was going to collection..
He mailed the credit card
company a check for $0.00, and the credit card company's computer processed it, noting
that his account was now paid in full..
A week later, the man's bank
called him asking him what he was doing writing a check for $0.00. He explained and they
said, "Well, your $0.00 check has caused our check processing software to fail. We
now can't process ANY of our checks from that day electronically because that $0.00 check
is causing the program to abort."
The man, who had been
considering buying his wife a computer for her birthday, bought her a typewriter instead.
Week 3
Naugthy Professor
Annoyed by the professor of
anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female
students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave
the room in protest.
The professor, however, got
wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then,
halfway through the lecture, he began."They say there is quite a shortage of
prostitutes in France."
The girls looked at one
another, arose and started for the door.
"Young ladies," said
the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow
afternoon."
Week 4
"Politics
Explained"
From: "John M Paterson
A little boy goes to his dad
and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let
me try to explain it this way:
I am the breadwinner of the
family, so let's call me Capitalism & Your Mom, she is the administrator of the money,
so we will call her the Government.
We are here to take care of
your needs, so we will call you the People & The nanny, we will consider her the
Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will
call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to
bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying,
so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So
the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he
goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his
father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to
bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand
the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good
son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies,
"Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound
asleep, the People are being ignored and the & Future is in deep shit." |
