November Jokes of the
Week |
Week 1
A fellow is reading the paper
in his family room when his wife raps him upside the head with a frying pan. "Whoa,
what the heck is that all about?" he roars.
"I was going through your
golf bag looking for change for cigarettes," she snaps, "and I found this piece
of paper with the name Mary Lou on it!"
"Jeez," he replies,
"that's the name of a horse in next weeks second race at Pimlico. John, my golfing
buddy gave me an inside tip!"
"Oh honey," she
apologized. "I'm so sorry. I'll rub your feet and make you an extra special
dinner."
Next week the same guy is
reading the paper when his wife smacks him upside the head again.
"Now what?" he
demands.
"Your horse just
called."
Week 2
Price of Sermon
One beautiful Sunday morning, a
priest announced to his congregation: "My good people, I have here in my hands three
sermons...a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes,
and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour. "Now, we'll take the collection and see
which one I'll deliver."
Week 3
US Presidential Election Joke
Ralph Nader, Al Gore and George
W. Bush go to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a healthy lunch, all three
decide to visit the men's room. They find a strange looking gent sitting at the entrance
who says: "Welcome to the gentlemen's room. Be sure to check out our latest feature
-- a Magic Mirror. If you look into it and say something truthful, you will be
rewarded with a wish come true. But be warned - if you say something FALSE, you will be
sucked into the Mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity."
Undeterred, they enter, and
approaching the Mirror, Ralph Nader says, "I think I'm the most truthful of us
three." In a flash he is surrounded by a pile of money.
Al Gore steps up and says,
"I think I'm the most ambitious of us three," and suddenly the key to a
luxurious new Cadillac appears in his hand.
Excited over the possibility of
having his wish come true, George W. looks in the Mirror and says, "I think..."
He is instantly sucked into the
void.
Week 4
"Do You
Remember..."
A couple who'd been married for
over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how
you used to sit close to me?"
He moved over and sat close to her.
"Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me
tight?"
He reached over and held her tight.
"And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and
nibble on my ear?"
With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth." |
