Week 1
Bribed Judge ......
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Taking his seat in his chambers, the Sindhi judge faced the opposing lawyers.
"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."
Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, attorney Mohanty, gave me Rs.50,000. And you, attorney Venkat, gave me
Rs.60,000."
The judge now reached into his pocket and pulled out Rs.10,000. He handed it to attorney
Venkat.
"Now that I'm returning Rs.10,000, we're going to decide this case solely on its
merits!"
Contributed By: SM Muthu, Kota Kinabalu
Week 2
Fun about Men and Women ....
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Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.
Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.
After 70, they become Siberia.
"Everyone knows where is it, but no one wants to go there."
Then we have the guys... just to be fair...
A guy's life can be described as a train on a railway track.
When they are 20,
Every station they want to stop.
When they are 30,
They can only stop at one station.
When they are 40,
They want to stop but they are not allowed to stop.
When they are 50,
They want to stop but they cannot stop.
When they are 60,
They can't even start. How to stop?
Contributed By: NShine, Kota Kinabalu
Week 3
Old Makcik says, "But Pakcik, you don't have a birth
certificate. How are you gonna prove your age?"
"Now don't you worry, Makcik," says Pakcik, and he leaves for
town.
Old Pakcik returns home a few hours later and reports that
he'll be getting the first check in about three weeks.
"So how'd ya prove your age?" asks Makcik.
"Easy," says Pakcik, smiling. "I just unbuttoned my shirt and
showed 'em all the gray hairs on my chest."
"Well, while you were at it," scolds Makcik, "why didn't you
drop your pants and apply for disability?"
Week 4
Dr. Lingam, the head psychiatrist at the local mental
hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and
ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Lee," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I
see by your chart that you've been recommended for
dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once
you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I
went to school for mechanical engineering. That's still a
good field and great money. But, on the other hand, I
thought I might write a book about my experiences here
in the hospital and what it's like to be a patient here."
The patient continued, "People might be interested in
reading a book like that. In addition, I thought I might
go back to college and study art history, which I've
grown interested in lately."
Dr. Lingam nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like
intriguing possibilities."
The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare
time, I can go on being a teapot." |
