Week 1
The String
A String walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "Hi, may I have a glass of
Vodka?"
And the bartender said,
"No. Sorry, we don't serve Strings here." and instead of making a scene, the
String left the bar and went around the corner. When he was sure that he was out of view
of the bartender, he tied himself in a knot and ruffled up his top and bottom and returned
to the bar.
He went up to the bartender and
once again asked the bartender for a glass of Vodka and the bartender asked "Aren't
you the string that just came in here?" and the String answered "Nope, afraid
not!" (a frayed knot)
Week 2
One day our Little niece Rita
went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come from?"
My sister in law stammered a
bit, but finally got her composure. She thought it was time her daughter knew the facts of
life. So, she told Little Rita how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of
life, how life developed in the womb and finally how a child was born. As my sister in law
gave the whole story, Rita's eyes got wider and wider.
When She was finished, Little
Rita said "Wow, that's really neat. That sure beats what Uncle Rusty told me. He said
that he came from Pennsylvania."
Week 3
A Place To Sleep
By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got
to have a room somewhere." he pleaded. "Or just a bed--I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double
room with one occupant," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split
the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms
have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the
tired traveller assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning, John came
down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. When asked about how he slept, he replied,
"Never better."
The manager was impressed.
"No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"
"Nope. I shut him up in no
time."
"How'd you manage
that?"
"He was already in bed,
snoring away, when I came in the room," John said. "I went over, gave him a kiss
on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful.' With that he sat up all night watching
me."
Week 4
A young man wanted to get his
beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to
buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains
to her all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes
shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says "how do
you like your new phone?"
She replies "I just love,
it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand
though."
"What's that, baby?"
asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at
Wal-Mart?" |
